Senior Relationships
Marriage | Caregiving | Sons & Daughters | Friends | Pets
How to Make A Marriage Work
Susan Smalley | Huffington Post | 10.02.08
I've been thinking a lot about 'what makes a marriage work' because I officiated a wedding this summer, my own 34th wedding anniversary is next month, and I see the struggles faced by some friends and colleagues in their marriages.
Scientists have identified several variables that can predict success or failure of a marriage with 70-80% accuracy. The predictors of failure change a bit throughout the duration of marriage but include violence (aggression), negative communication, personality match, and sexuality among others. I don't conduct research on marriage but I find it fascinating that the success or failure could be 'predetermined' with such high accuracy.
Despite this strong body of research, probably few of us use marriage assessment tools to figure out whether to marry or not.
When A Senior Spouse is the Caregiver
When an elderly person is the caregiver for his or her spouse, the caregiver can get sick too. Often the sick partner sleeps for short periods and then requires care so the caring spouse rarely get a good night's sleep. Couple loss of sleep with sadness over loss of a life-partner's vitality, and there is every opportunity for the caring spouse to get sick too. For help and advice, try the following:
When An Adult Child Is the Caregiver
An adult child can be caught between the needs of an elderly parent and those of a busy household with children and spouse. Feeling of guilt and inadequacy are common and can lead to depression. Find helpful resources here:
National Family Caregivers Association
Children of Ageing Parents (CAPS)
Loneliness Among Elderly
In 1987 in the US, 8.5 million elderly lived alone; by 2020, 13.3 million elderly will live alone. Most of these are widows.
Loneliness breeds isolation. Each day, it gets harder to go out and visit new places and try new things which could lead to meeting new people. Loneliness and isolation together can feed depression and chronic illness.
Wm. J. Diehm has written a thought-provoking article on how to overcome loneliness. More
Senior Pet Owners Live Longer and Better
We know that animals affect human emotions and pets are especially good for seniors. More
The Pets for the Elderly Foundation offers several article on the benefits for the elderly of having a pet. More
As pets age, they require more care just like humans. A Veterinarian, Dr. Ron Hines, has written a helpful page on caring for older dogs and cats. There are several things we can do to make their lives better. More
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