ElderThinker for ElderThink
That which is crooked cannot be made straight: and that which is wanting cannot be numbered. (Ecclesiastes 1:15)
My best friend has Alzheimer's Disease and this is what he told me, word for word:
"I admit, at first I thought it was a mistake. I was often annoyed with the darling person who shares my life. I was irritable with her because she was pointing out my problems. I used wrong words. I couldn't finish sentences. Of course she thought I just wasn't paying attention to her.
"I'm quite strong so it's easy to think this is all a big error. I shower and dress myself, I use my computer, I watch television and putter around in my workshop. I love and laugh with my wonderful wife and I talk to my family. But there are pieces that have gone wrong.
"They didn't want me at work any more. I missed meetings and lost my way during conversations. I sat looking at my desk because I couldn't assemble a report. I became very worried too and that made it worse. So I'm better off staying at home where it is comfortable.
"I should be able to get past this thing. But it's not like having the flu or an injury. It takes over a little more all the time. I will die from it. I will lose everything I know and know how to do and I will die. I'm so scared. I try not to think about it but it's always there.
"And what I'm doing to my wife! I know she will care for me tenderly forever but this is a terrible thing for her and I'm the cause. She makes me laugh, still. She says we must live for each moment. At least she has stopped correcting me when I make a mistake. I love her smile.
"Sometimes I just feel like this is the end of everything, but I'm still alive and my days pass and I think they are full. Thinks are just the way they are. The crooked will never be straight. My crooked mind will be what it will be.
"Maybe they will find a cure before I have progressed too far. Maybe I won't lose my life before I die after all."